Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
I had no where to run... The dumpster sounded like a good idea at the time
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
Then he texted me that I was the "good kind" of fat.
A dude just looked at me like my drunk swaying was corrupting his progeny DUDE YOUR KID HAS A MULLET YOU'VE ALREADY RUINED HIM
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
He got up in the middle of the show and returned with this massive ham shank, then offered me some by asking "wanna suckle on my hog." Should I be offended?
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
I didn't really understand how big 10 inches is. Now I know.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
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