u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Dude. It's not even nine. I don't know yet.
Drink number four. Don't even tell me about its not even nine
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
Too bad pet owners lack respect for my training in ancient Buddhist and holistic rehab therapies.
I'm not sure the Buddhist consider pot brownies holistic rehab therapy
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
My boss and I ended up at the same strip club. We both got lap dances while talking about work.
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