you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
$3 wine plus diet sprite does not make good champagne.
does taste better than andre tho
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Who knew she had talents apart from chugging wine spritzers
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
