ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
i mean i'm ok with bufu but if i'm gonna do it it needs to be a mutual agreement, and there are steps that need to be taken. you don't just go OOPS we're doing it now
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I just got offered money for pictures of my boobs
I accepted the offer
The UTI came back with a vengeance.
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Randomize
