with your own penis?
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Just donated money to a kid for her softball team.
Obviously I'm trying to futher our next generation of lesbians. I may be hitting on her at the gay bar in ten years...
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
Don't ever feel guilty about what you put in your mouth best advice my gma ever gave me lmao
In other news, I just burned my penis
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
