so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
Last time I heard from you, you were double fisting strawberry milk and wine. Answer this text so I know you're still alive. Bonus points for a coherent answer.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
My dad just said "fuck circus"
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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