i thought i deleted your number from my phone...Wtf
I cant believe we actually had a nipple party!
He only uses me for sexual pleasure. The sad part is I don't even feel like a slut. I just I feel like I should just live in the top drawer of his nightstand....for free of course.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
Cops said there's a crazy dude with a mask in my neighborhood. Don't get stabbed.
If he was naked that was me.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Everyone I slept with in 2016 is getting a Christmas card from me. Because I'm an adult.
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
Randomize
