They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
Dude.. You paid a stripper $50 to listen to you cry last night.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
The sex was totally worth how awkward its gonna be for the next few weeks
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
Are you rolling a joint while doing homework?
No, I am rolling a joint with my homework.
I’ve chosen to watch a Mercedes station wagon drive around the Austrian in the rain because it’s live sports. If that doesn’t explain 2020, I don’t know what does.
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