Walk of Shame. In a state park.
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
Don't ask how or why, but I think the 775 on the inside of my lip is permanent
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
She had a cast on when I met her, but she blamed me for breaking her arm this morning. I'm gonna marry this girl.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
This guy on Hoarders just said "we're all about 4 or 5 decisions away from shitting in a bucket". True dat
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
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