I'm not conventionally pretty...I'm just crazy
There's a girl here with sideburns. I gave her your number, you can thank me later.
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
Hey, dude, is Kevin still passed out on your porch?
Yeah. I'm gonna go leave a pitcher of bloody mary next to him in case he's still alive.
I'm hungry, horney and thirsty. Pick two you want to help out with.(please pick horney)
I woke up at 3am, top off, with campus security telling me to get dressed. Tonight was a GOOD NIGHT
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
