woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
i wanted to sleep on a waterbed so i filled up my bathtub so i could fall asleep in it...
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
I'm drinking with a guy who is a bigger asshole than me. We started a contest.
It's national "dress up your pet day" come over. Drugs and dressed up cats..it's the shit dreams are made of.
Just walked by a girl saying to her friend "honestly you coulda given me any dude and I woulda fucked him"
You should've introduced yourself
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
I'm so gassy and it's your fault.
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