is your mom at the bar?
: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Does saving a line for myself for the morning so I don't seem hungover at work count as responsibility?
Adult decisions.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
I decided tomorrow is going to be great day wether my period likes it or not
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Looked for my lighter in the console and found more tampons. Seriously. You're like a squirrel prepping for a hard winter. A menstruating squirrel.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Randomize
