i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
moving back to school this early was a terrible idea we already used up our bail fund
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Let's paint friendship bongs
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
Hangover or death. Death. I'll have a slice of death please.
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Would it be inappropriate to send a friend request to the sheriff that fingerprinted me last night???
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
Is there any chance of you maybe wanting a bouncy house at your wedding. Like maybe a .0001 chance. If so I would totally chip in for that.
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
