Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I am pretty sure I told him the clouds were earth's purest filtration system and that snow was the rarest and most delicious water in the world. My lips are burning because we ate so much.
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I spent a good part of the night in a bear hat claiming I'd changed spieces
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
I thought it was your cat but I was wrong your Roomba is possessed by a pissed-off evil spirit.
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