just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
hearing that almost makes me feel good about peeing on the coffee table
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I'm reading the Hobbit in my blanket fort alone with a bottle of wine... all I need is dungeons and dragons to complete this superfecta of awesome
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
