Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
The cab driver doesn't know where we can find an empire state building shaped dildo either!? What is wrong with NYC!?
She blew me in the back of the cab while eye of the tiger was on the radio. Top five all time automatically
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Randomize
