The men handing out bibles on the quad are blatantly skipping me... am i that obvious
He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
its friday night, im aone in my apartment and eating 2 year expired canned fruit, naked. i'm not single or anything..
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
The moment you ate chicken nuggets out of your purse you were my hero.
Where the hell did i get chicken nuggets from
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
Obviously he considers you not fucking him as fucking up. Thus making him fuck up. Based on this I believe he should be disqualified from the race to your vagina.
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Randomize