why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think she would actually eat a penis if anyone was brave enough to let one near her mouth
the #6 from wendy's when stoned is definitely better than sex. i dont care what anyone says.
The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
I have 4 passes to the spa here, walking around with a robe on and putting cucumber slices on my penis. You guys should come hang out here. It's very relaxing
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I got a hand job after work. Remember those? From the 90s...
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
