Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
I woke up this morning with a tampon in my nose and food EVERYWHERE...
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
sexting foreigners is the best. they respond with silly things like "love that tits"
I mean when you laced a shot with $200 worth of cocaine I could see why you'd be mad when somebody drops it
Soo are you just gonna poop in my bathtub and not talk to me anymore...?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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