you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Today was the day I stopped kidding myself and started buying the handle of vodka.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
I thought he was having it in Athens. Alright. Have fun. Please save my dignity and refrain from talking about my boobs and sexual "abilities". If I have any. I just feel like they are going to ask. Repeat after me. And repeat it 5 more times. This is going to be the phrase you're going to rely on tonight: "I can neither deny or confirm such actions."
You're an idiot. I have LIVED as a cautionary tale of what happens when you drink too much and stick your dick in crazy, HAVE YOU LEARNED NOTHING?
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
Randomize
