you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
He had a number 3 tattooed on his penis. And when I asked what it meant, he said " you know like dale earnhardt, the intimidator".
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
I may be asexual, but I owe you a solid from yesterday. I am a man of my word.
seriously considering getting an electric blanket rather than sleeping with guys this winter for warmth.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
