at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
What better than a girl who loves jager, sexts like a champ and is down for t-bell at any hours of the night? oh wait, NOTHING.
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
