i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Exactly. So he deserves crazy "thanks for keeping me out of jail" sex. Or an "I'm glad your excessive cocaine habit had some positive outcomes" blowjob.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Also the McRib is back. Lets get high, dress like cowboys, and eat some McRibs.
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Drive by water balloon fight on $500,000 boats ended when someone threw a dildo
Sorry. Not doing life today. Love to. But can't.
I just got the most majestic image of a potato sack full of dildos getting whipped at your head in slow motion.
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
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