HELP! I am trapped in a douchebag ad... full of Affliction and Ed Hardy. Seriously? is he gonna leave his sunglasses on the entire 10 seconds of this encounter?
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
Changed my mind. Wearing a dress. Casual, with a side of breasts.
In less than 3 minutes we had 3 security guards running after us
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
my sober ride is dancing w/ a fat girl. i might be awhile
Hey guy that stepped on my foot, don't slap my ass to apologize.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
The guy who's car I hit last night just followed me on Twitter...not sure how to feel about it.
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
i found 4 slices of pizza in my toaster, and a can of unopened soup in my blender.. wtf?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize
