the reason why you were crawling on your hands and knees from room to room last night was because you thought the ceiling fans were chasing you...
that makes sense.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Instead of just putting in it he asked "will you do the honors?" it was the cutest thing I had ever heard before sex.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
There's nothing like telling your girl to hold your pants while peeing on your neighbors door
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Randomize
