i really like this girl i slept with last night
you ask her out again?
yeah but she said she is busy next weekend getting married
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
Scratch that. Good bye liver, good bye clothes, good bye dignity. Hello awesome weekend
your drunk ass trust falled a guy double fisting bud limes and as a result your head bounced off the patio table. So that might explain the stitches on the back of your head.
She interrupted us having sex in the tent by threatening to kill us if we "got cum on the lasanga."
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
Your fuck buddy is making you watch the OC. I think that counts as strings attached.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
let me assure you that a rugburn on your forehead is the worst side effect of tequila i have experienced to date.
Is there a nice, calm way of telling your friend/housemate/former lover/person who does not reciprocate your feelings that your period is late?
Randomize
