Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
One girl peed the bed, one lost her panties, another woke up on the piano, I have pink eye and door knobs are missing. This is why I stay in Nebraska
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
When I said tequila slammers would be the death of me, I didn't intend it to be today. Oh god.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
you got drunk, told him he looked like shaggy and said 'I wouldn't show you my mystery machine for all the scooby snacks in the world'
Don't worry about me. I am infinite.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
