why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
I'm sick of being the only unemployed member of the group. Doing things alone isn't partying. Its sad.
I want a calm night. Not one where I wake up to you topless and bloody.
I even got my dealer to make gluten free special cookies ;-)
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
