she kept yelling 'call me bella'
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
My 10 year old son gave me a bottle of jameson for fathers day. Did you have something to do with this?
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
Expect nothing less than me teaching them how to do shots and put condoms on
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
How are you not embarrassed to know me. I'm a mess right now. I'm a walking, talking tornado of embarrassment
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
its 11:20. i'm drunk in class flying paper airplanes for my final. what the fuck is my college experience right now?
Randomize
