we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
I wish we could tell the moving van to wait at the strip club for a while.
Every time you started making out for him we all cheered for you... that's what sorority sisters do - they cheer you on when you make bad life decisions at the bar.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
BRING THE BAGELS
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
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