hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
All you kept saying was "my dick ALWAYS causes problems".
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
As I sit on the toilet at 4 am I realize tonight could have gone a lot better
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
James is trying to butt-heads with a moose. I don't know whether I should stop him or just sit back and watch where this goes.
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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