I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
the only reason you beat me in fntsy this week is bc you wouldnt bail me outa jail in time to set my roster you dick
Either this is the best sandwich I've ever had, or my stomach is just relieved to have something in it that's not Red Bull or semen.
We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
He looks like he's going to feed me a taco and then stab me. It's probably a good idea he's a lawyer
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
...I watched him run on the beach yesterday and I think I started ovulating
I'm not winning any crowns in the Miss Emotionally Stable pageant either...
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