Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
Leaving someone plastered on a corner at 3am telling them to just scream for cock is NOT being a good wingman.
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
So yes we had an orgy last night and I sucked your tits while you fucked my husband but I am weird about sharing my toothbrush.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
