I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
A piece of cheeseburger just fell between my tits. Consider this a "wish you were here" postcard.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
well that's the third time this semester that I've projectile vomited walking to class in front of dozens of people
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
Is banging someone in the national guard considered a state service or a national one?
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I always can't wait to see you but when there's also an opportunity to get naked it elevates to an entirely different level
i just wanted have a romantic star gaze moment with him. untill he let out a massive fart.
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