She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i talked to you about this last night, and you kept saying "he wants yo pusssaayyyyyy"
she gave me a blowjob during our lunchbreak and expected me not to tell people
I had to write an apology letter to security guards in the hotel so I didnt get kicked out
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
the bride at the wedding we just crashed said we can stay only if we strip for her. You need to get down here
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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