I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
Is a swingers hotel appropriate for an anniversary?
He's two decades older than you. Remember how you said you wish you lived in the 70s? HE DID.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
My orgasm happened in two different decades
Randomize
