i just realized i've been trying to levitate the potatoe chip out of her hand for the past ten minutes. i think i smoked to much.
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
the cops didnt even say happy birthday to me :(
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
On a completely unrelated note I think I have carpal tunnel
Again, totally unrelated
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
I should know better than to open your texts at the grocery store
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
Let's make a rule now, to not smoke weed out of our trumpets. After tonight.
Randomize
