New channing tatum movie.
I'll bring my vibrator.
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
who has not yet felt my sugrcially enhanced boobs. HurryI am at the bnar and it is 1:15 am
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
I turned on Elf, made myself a mojito, and am eating one of a sleeve of Ritz. You tell me if I wanna go out tonight.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
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