At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
Just so you know, coffee creamer+water does not = milk.
The fact that its 10am on a gameday and I have yet to shotgun is absurd
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I do remember telling her that I was about to pass out soon and then hiding my pants under my bed so she couldn't take my wallet even drunk I'm thinking ahead
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
Btw...refried beans is a terrible thing to throw up.
When he breaks your heart after he reveals he's gay, I'll be there for you. -Love, Dad
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
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