This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
It wasn't until like 4 and when we got off the phone you said god was summoning you back into the bar
I need you to do me a favor and hide my sword from me tonight. I'm planning on drinking my weight in vodka and I don't trust myself enough to not run through campus screaming "I AM SPARTA!" You'll be saving me a mugshot as well as saving some innocent girls from tears.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Oh btw I learned how to say "my penis is a flamethrower" in German. Tonights gonna be fun
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
I just made a flawless coverstory for why I dont have my car and why I left the party on foot. #adultererskills
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I fucked a 6 foot tall guy who has abs showing without even flexing... I am a wizard and I have magical powers.
Randomize
