We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
God gave me a talent besides one night stands. I feel like I should use it
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
is it still the walk of shame if his dad gave me a 'thanks for sleeping with my son' head nod on my way out this morning?
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
