why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just remembered I hit myself in the face with a bottle then did the nose test and decided I was still good. Don't think anyone noticed.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
You are talking to me during sexting hours. Be careful, innuendos are taken seriously
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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