do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
I should have kept drinking, a coma can't be as bad as this hangover
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Wait also totally unrelated but can horses sit down?
I just tried to picture one and I don't think they can cause I can't envision it
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Who wakes up at 9 and says "let me send a pic of my dick to my ex gf"
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
Randomize
