508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
everytime i eat a fruit i feel like i'm eating ovaries
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
At least life still wants to fuck me.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
Randomize
