Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
Had a booty call cancel on me tonight. Said he hurt his back. So this is what single and 30-something is like. Suck.
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
You were supposed to be my wingman and all you kept to her friend was "kill it with fire"..
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Dry heaving on campus is my new low. Also, go pats
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
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