and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
I don't remember him, but he's saved in my phone as "uh oh zbt"
We gotta make a movie eventually. All good, long-lasting relationships include a homemade porno
Honestly, I don't care if the only reason she gave me her beer was because she was bisexual and wanted to touch my vagina. Beer is beer.
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I am never taking advice from you again. The high heels in the shower were a bad idea. I orgasmed and almost drowned.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
no we just smoked too much weed and listened to the tarzan soundtrack. phil collins is amazing
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
i thought the time we went to a party with no shoes on was bad, how about the time you left with no pants on?
Randomize
