I was totally willing to let her keep giving me blowjobs as long as she didn't think we were in a relationship.
Getting drunk now, but later remind me to tell you how to crash an 8th grade grad party.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
I am thinkingif I am doing snow Angels in your living room, I probably had too much to drink
Your a horrible friend, i only tried to do the right thing by moving you off the floor.. that was not an invitation to puke all over my bed and attempt to use my dog to mop it up.
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
Yesterday was just the icing on the rejection cake that was my week
there isn't one for "I'll give you an I'm sorry blowjob" but that's also an option you have. in the meantime here is an emoticon of a caterpillar
I walked home with him, but I had to pee...so I did...as we walked. He was so drunk he didn't even notice. Good thing I was in a dress.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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