dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
it got awkward when she realized that our nickname for her was "The Hambeast"
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
I should just tell him this. He doesn't need to be all nice and ask me on dates and to do gay stuff like hangout during the day. I'll still sleep with him regardless.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
You kept telling the cops that our ice luge was practice for the next winter olympics
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
