I walked in on my roommate finishing watching something on his computer. There was cum all over his screen. He awkwardly said hi and pulled up his pants.
Don't threaten to terrorize my ass hole unless you have to wherewithal to back it up
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
She said she wanted to have closure sex.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I might have pissed in the corner of someone's shed. They have nice lawn mower.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
It's very disconcerting to wake up and she is gone. I never know where she could be. It's like playing wheres Waldo but Waldo could potentially be drunk and wandering around in weird places that normal Waldo's don't go.
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
Randomize
