Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I legit just swiped right with a Tinder feminist just to get in an argument with her. Soo that's my Friday night so far...
i think im in europe. pls send help
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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