Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I feel like college is just an experience in what names I can't name my future son.
so why are there three stressed gay men and a bowl of vomit in the smoke room?
Apparently I spent my 300 dollar tax return by ordering ramen on amazon last night. Please tell me this will somehow pay off in the long run.
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The pool of urine in the trash can signifies both a regretful yet successful night.
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
After I was kicked out of the last frat I blacked out, woke up in the hospital with no clothes no phone and no idea what happened last night. But i got hospital socks, thats a win in my book.
I told him the only reason I'd sleep with him is if we have a threesome because I'll need moral support
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
