She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I knew it was going to be a good night when i heard another girl call his dick "Thor's Hammer"
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
He made me this shot called the allergen. It was a shot of vodka with a Claritin dropped in it.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
An image of us stuck like that like Pompeii comes to mind. A wonder for future anthropologists
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I don't want anything calamari shaped after last night. But I appreciate the Cheerios offer.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
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